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Influences | Books

As Lianne Raymond says

These are my teachers, “known and unknown” (meaning they don’t necessarily know me nor would they necessarily agree with everything I say or do — and vice versa — but at critical points in my career, their work has fed me and become part of my flesh):

KD – Additional Instagram Templates-33

Here are some of people + books who have

grown me:

Dr. Barbara Bryant Solomon:

Whose social and academic work on black empowerment appears to be  one of the first articulations of “empowerment”; her textbook has been my touchstone.

Mr. Beech:

Who was the first teacher in my life to show me the gap between our democratic goals as a country and the harsh, oppressive realities (I did not take it kindly and I’m still mortified at my 14 year old self).

Lianne Raymond:

For being a wise woman who knows things and has always sent resources my way and greeted me with compassion even when she doesn’t agree with my thinking or work.

Danielle LaPorte:

For seeing something in me nine years ago and championing me privately and publicly on before anyone knew of me or my work; and for materially helping me get started, online. I still get business because of her early support — and the significance of one woman using her influence and sharing her knowledge to help another woman develop a sovereign, sustainable livelihood can never be underestimated.

Dr. Lindo Bacon:

For their life-altering books, Health at Every Size and Body Respect (co-authored with Lucy Aphramor) and unending personal + professional generosity. HAES helped me stop hating myself and for this I am truly grateful.

Dr. Barbara Arniel:

For hiring me to be her research assistant while I was still an undergrad (!!) and mentoring me even before I realized that mentoring was a thing.

Toi Smith:

For her expert Online Business Management, her influence on the direction of my career, her unwavering friendship, and her capacity to be direct and say what needs to be said. That’s love and culture-making in action.

Gwynn Raimondi:

For opening me to the possibility of embodiment and helping me regulate my central nervous system on the daily and ESPECIALLY in times of trial (2017 was an unrelenting, 12 month inferno).

Jennifer McClanahan-Flint:

For coaching me into new culture making possibilities, for underlining the value in my analysis and the book I’m working on, forcing me to look at how many hours I *really* have available to work so that I finally saw the necessity of shifting my business model and raising my rates. What I learned with her emboldened me immeasurably in my culture making AND tripled my business income in a year.

Anna North:

For publishing me at Jezebel and Salon and being a possibility model in the professional world of words.

side-right

Vicki Saunders, CV Harquail, Meghna Majmudar, Tanya Geisler, Pam Singh, Astarte Sands, Justine Musk, Dr. Danusia Malina-DerbenUna de Boer

For being points-of-inspiration, friends, or mentors along the way– in person and from afar.

line-down

Thinkers, writers, speakers — culture makers! — whose ideas have formed me:

Chantal Mouffe, Rene Girard, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, Gloria Steinem, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Nancy Fraser, Carol Pateman, Maya Angelou, Rebecca Solnit, Kate Harding, Marianne Kirby,  Roxane Gay, Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw, Tema Okun and Kenneth Jones, Benjamin R. Teitelbaum, adrienne maree brown, Sarah Schulman, Lindy West, Sonya Renee Taylor, Naomi Wolf, Susan Faludi, Jia Tolentino, Cedar Barstow.

side-right
home-kelly-2

Can magazines be formative influences?

Because they have been:

Ms. Magazine and the early iteration of Sassy. But especially Ms. Magazine, my friend and feminist mentor since I was eleven years old.

KD – Floral Letters-41

prah

As a possibility model. I often say I was co-parented by Oprah and I’m only half-joking. I feel like I grew up with her show and it shaped me. Of course, like most of the “unknown teachers” on this list, she has no idea I exist. Yet.

line-down

S. Lawrence, S. Kelly, A. Young, J. Neufeld and F. Rostant:

For their love across the years. 

Dr. David Doolin:

For his friendship at a pivotal moment in my life, for helping me learn copywriting and trying to teach me about SEO. I say tried because I basically refused. Despite myself, I did absorb some critically useful stuff. I’m grateful.

Every week, I send you a

Sunday Love Letter

I write them so that…

  1. You remember your culture-making power
  2. You have the inspiration + tools you need to grow a future in which we all flourish
Are you in?

psssst...Wednesday is the last day to enrol in *We Are The Culture Makers 2023*.⁠
⁠
🔥It's one part low-cost, online, group coaching...⁠
⁠
🔥One part encouragement circle where we get to know each other and find opportunities to ask for and receive support...⁠
⁠
🔥One part feminist analysis....⁠
⁠
🔥One part tools, strategies + tips for navigating -- and changing -- our lives and world...⁠
⁠
🔥And 100% pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Use it to fuel your life, your career, your relationships and your impact.⁠
⁠
Are you in? You can learn more using the link in profile @kelly.diels . ⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
⁠ #feministclass #feministtraining #feministworkshop #feministcoaching⁠
I always feel a bit weird about these 'last-call' posts.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Please know this isn't 'fake scarcity' or fake pressure to get you to sign up (I wholeheartedly OPPOSE those tactics). ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Instead, this is a real deadline: ⁠⁠
the first live group call for We Are The Culture Makers is next Thursday, Feb 2...⁠⁠
⁠⁠
...so if you've been thinking you want to join, this is your loving reminder that this is the week to do that :)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
***⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Here's what you get in We Are The Culture Maker:⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥6 group calls⁠ per month -- drop in at either 9am PST or 4pm PST (or both!) on Thursdays⁠⁠ in Weeks 1-3 each month⁠
⁠⁠
🔥 Learn my self-coaching tool, the TRUEX framework, for getting out of shame and into your power -- on the spot, wherever you are⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥3 video lessons each month (and sometimes more) on how to create new realities for yourself (and all of us!) around fraught issues like Power, Time, Money, Body, Likability, Care, Work, Leadership and more⁠⁠
⁠
🔥Weekly Co-Working Sessions⁠ you can drop into so you have time set aside in your schedule to work on projects that truly matter to you⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Weekly, live Guided Meditation sessions to calm your central nervous system and bolster your spirit, taught by yoga breathing & meditation teacher Ntathu Allen⁠ (Find Ntathu at https://www.yogainspires.co.uk and @yogainspiresyou⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Online Mighty Networks group so you can get to know people in the group and make meaningful connections. This space is lovingly & fiercely facilitated by community-builder Trevia Woods⁠. (Find Trevia at https://www.manytreeslifeway.com and @trevia_woods⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
All in all, it's a year of radical encouragement meant to help you⁠⁠
(1) unlearn the social conditioning keeping us in self-doubt ⁠⁠
(2) learn the power-building habits that can help you rise -- personally, and collectively.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
In other words: this is about getting out of shame and into power.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
If that sounds like a fit for you, I invite you to sign up with the link in profile @kelly.diels -- and thank you!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
love + justice,⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Kelly⁠⁠
Good morning. Happy New Year. I am rooting for you. Your dreams and desires and ambitions matter and they are NOT impossible.⁠
⁠
(The oracle Dolly Parton told us so.)⁠
⁠
Re: ambition and likeability.⁠
⁠
For YEARS I have been counselling culture-making women to break up with likability. It's such a critical self-development and culture-making skill that I dedicated an entire, month-long, 4-lesson module in one of my programs to grappling with likability and what a seductive, compelling, hard-to-avoid, BULLSHIT trap it is for women. ⁠
⁠
The pursuit of likability will eat your life and your dreams.⁠
⁠
And it is fruitless, anyways. ⁠
⁠
If you are in a body marked 'other' and actually grow any kind of personal power; if you cultivate your ambition and succeed in bringing a body of work into existence; if you occupy any space of influence or authority; if you have any kind of personal sovereignty and the resources or ability to protect yourself...⁠
⁠
...then the research shows* that you will pay a 'likability penalty'. In other words, people suddenly start perceiving you as less likeable and act accordingly. ⁠
⁠
So. All that swallowing the words we wanted to say, smiling brightly, tamping down our ambitions, playing small, making hostile systems function, and ensuring others feel comfortable when they don't care about our comfort...it was never going to work. It was never going get us where we wanted to go, personally or collectively. WHOLE. FLOURISHING.⁠
⁠
How about we...stop?⁠
⁠
How about we divest of the likeability performance and cultivate our desires, dreams, ambitions, pleasure and rest this year (and always!) instead?⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#WeAreTheCultureMakers ⁠
#SelfHelpThroughAFeministLens⁠
⁠
* h/t @stefanieoconnell https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmt4ky1hijQ/
Several years ago I was interviewed by Morra Aarons-Mele (Women & Work) for her Hiding In The Bathroom podcast and she told me about a recruiting agency founded by women. ⁠
⁠
The founders interview people at lunch and at coffee, which means they spend a lot of their business money in restaurants. To leverage that spend for #economicjustice, they specifically resolved to eat and entertain at restaurants  owned by people with marginalized identities.⁠
⁠
A lightbulb went off in my head. ⁠
⁠
I own an online company so most of my expenses are software & apps, not restaurants. Still, I can do what that HR agency did. I can leverage my line items. I can select my software providers based on functionality AND culture-making criteria.⁠
⁠
If you’re an online business, there’s an opportunity here for you, too.⁠
⁠
Let’s say you need a social media scheduler. You’re comparing three or four options for their functionality. You can also look at their team & org chart to see if there are people of colour and women in executive leadership positions (and, and, and).⁠
⁠
You can make a list of things that matter to you and try to select providers that you WANT to invest in.⁠
⁠
Leveraging *what you’re already spending* is a simple step with big impact. It helps us invest in our communities AND it builds culture-making business practices into the day-to-day structure of your business.⁠
⁠
You can do this when you’re choosing new software AND you can review the existing providers in your business and see if they’re still the best fit (and iterate, iterate, iterate).⁠
⁠
We have a lot of power -- sometimes more than we even recognize -- and this is one of the ways we can use it to grow ourselves and our communities.⁠
⁠
Seeking to invest in what and WHO you want to grow is a way to leverage our own growth towards a social good.⁠
⁠
Let’s take each other with us as we rise.⁠
⁠
Because success can be collective. #LeverageYourLineItems⁠
⁠
PS I created a Selection Matrix you can use to compare and evaluate apps & software ⁠(link in bio @kelly.diels)⁠
⁠
PPS I map this out in greater detail in a blog post https://www.kellydiels.com/feminist-marketing-tool-220-apps-by-women-poc-founders/

psssst...Wednesday is the last day to enrol in *We Are The Culture Makers 2023*.⁠
⁠
🔥It's one part low-cost, online, group coaching...⁠
⁠
🔥One part encouragement circle where we get to know each other and find opportunities to ask for and receive support...⁠
⁠
🔥One part feminist analysis....⁠
⁠
🔥One part tools, strategies + tips for navigating -- and changing -- our lives and world...⁠
⁠
🔥And 100% pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Use it to fuel your life, your career, your relationships and your impact.⁠
⁠
Are you in? You can learn more using the link in profile @kelly.diels . ⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
⁠ #feministclass #feministtraining #feministworkshop #feministcoaching⁠
I always feel a bit weird about these 'last-call' posts.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Please know this isn't 'fake scarcity' or fake pressure to get you to sign up (I wholeheartedly OPPOSE those tactics). ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Instead, this is a real deadline: ⁠⁠
the first live group call for We Are The Culture Makers is next Thursday, Feb 2...⁠⁠
⁠⁠
...so if you've been thinking you want to join, this is your loving reminder that this is the week to do that :)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
***⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Here's what you get in We Are The Culture Maker:⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥6 group calls⁠ per month -- drop in at either 9am PST or 4pm PST (or both!) on Thursdays⁠⁠ in Weeks 1-3 each month⁠
⁠⁠
🔥 Learn my self-coaching tool, the TRUEX framework, for getting out of shame and into your power -- on the spot, wherever you are⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥3 video lessons each month (and sometimes more) on how to create new realities for yourself (and all of us!) around fraught issues like Power, Time, Money, Body, Likability, Care, Work, Leadership and more⁠⁠
⁠
🔥Weekly Co-Working Sessions⁠ you can drop into so you have time set aside in your schedule to work on projects that truly matter to you⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Weekly, live Guided Meditation sessions to calm your central nervous system and bolster your spirit, taught by yoga breathing & meditation teacher Ntathu Allen⁠ (Find Ntathu at https://www.yogainspires.co.uk and @yogainspiresyou⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Online Mighty Networks group so you can get to know people in the group and make meaningful connections. This space is lovingly & fiercely facilitated by community-builder Trevia Woods⁠. (Find Trevia at https://www.manytreeslifeway.com and @trevia_woods⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
All in all, it's a year of radical encouragement meant to help you⁠⁠
(1) unlearn the social conditioning keeping us in self-doubt ⁠⁠
(2) learn the power-building habits that can help you rise -- personally, and collectively.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
In other words: this is about getting out of shame and into power.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
If that sounds like a fit for you, I invite you to sign up with the link in profile @kelly.diels -- and thank you!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
love + justice,⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Kelly⁠⁠
Good morning. Happy New Year. I am rooting for you. Your dreams and desires and ambitions matter and they are NOT impossible.⁠
⁠
(The oracle Dolly Parton told us so.)⁠
⁠
Re: ambition and likeability.⁠
⁠
For YEARS I have been counselling culture-making women to break up with likability. It's such a critical self-development and culture-making skill that I dedicated an entire, month-long, 4-lesson module in one of my programs to grappling with likability and what a seductive, compelling, hard-to-avoid, BULLSHIT trap it is for women. ⁠
⁠
The pursuit of likability will eat your life and your dreams.⁠
⁠
And it is fruitless, anyways. ⁠
⁠
If you are in a body marked 'other' and actually grow any kind of personal power; if you cultivate your ambition and succeed in bringing a body of work into existence; if you occupy any space of influence or authority; if you have any kind of personal sovereignty and the resources or ability to protect yourself...⁠
⁠
...then the research shows* that you will pay a 'likability penalty'. In other words, people suddenly start perceiving you as less likeable and act accordingly. ⁠
⁠
So. All that swallowing the words we wanted to say, smiling brightly, tamping down our ambitions, playing small, making hostile systems function, and ensuring others feel comfortable when they don't care about our comfort...it was never going to work. It was never going get us where we wanted to go, personally or collectively. WHOLE. FLOURISHING.⁠
⁠
How about we...stop?⁠
⁠
How about we divest of the likeability performance and cultivate our desires, dreams, ambitions, pleasure and rest this year (and always!) instead?⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#WeAreTheCultureMakers ⁠
#SelfHelpThroughAFeministLens⁠
⁠
* h/t @stefanieoconnell https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmt4ky1hijQ/