Sunday Love Letter Archive

KELLY COLLAGE_Love Letters

Sunday

Love Letter

Archive

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Every Sunday,

I send a newsletter by email

line-down

I don't post all of those newsletters on my website...but here are a few.

PS you can subscribe to my Sunday Love Letter here.

Home

How NOT to Get Swamped by It All

Welcome to your Sunday Love Letter by Kelly Diels.  I send these every...
Home

Business, Capitalism, and Money Guilt. A Cure.

welcome to your Sunday Love Letter by Kelly Diels. I send these every Sunday...
Leadership

for when your contribution or leadership isn’t being acknowledged…

welcome to your Sunday Love Letter by Kelly Diels. I send these every Sunday...
What if Trashing

What if…Trashing is about Redistributing Power in our Community?

Welcome to your Sunday Love Letter by Kelly Diels. I send these every Sunday...
2Social media accounts-min

Procrastination: 4 counterintuitive insights that might help you feel a LOT better about yourself

welcome to your Sunday Love Letter by Kelly Diels. I send these every...
2Culture making =-min

Clear The Way! (A Culture-Making Tool.)

This is your Sunday Love Letter.  In 2017, after spending nine months in Trinidad...

Every week, I send you a

Sunday Love Letter

I write them so that…

  1. You remember your culture-making power
  2. You have the inspiration + tools you need to grow a future in which we all flourish
Are you in?
Social media accounts

Who’s running our social media accounts? Us, or our social conditioning?

This week a friend of mine and I closed our eyes and imagined...
Home

Who Run the World? (Other than Beyonce)

before we get started, here's what I recently published for you at www.kellydev.wpengine.com:...
Home

Tiny Acts of Doing-It-Differently are Culture Making

Our entire society and status quo -- our culture -- is a web...
time is a feminist issue Brigid schulte's overwhelmed -- a still life!

The Price of Women’s Time, Because ‘Time is a Feminist Issue’

"Time is a Feminist Issue" - Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed ----- A...
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Every week, I send you a

Sunday Love Letter

I write them so that…

  1. You remember your culture-making power
  2. You have the inspiration + tools you need to grow a business that generates money AND justice

Let’s create a future in which we all flourish.

Are you in?

psssst...Wednesday is the last day to enrol in *We Are The Culture Makers 2023*.⁠
⁠
🔥It's one part low-cost, online, group coaching...⁠
⁠
🔥One part encouragement circle where we get to know each other and find opportunities to ask for and receive support...⁠
⁠
🔥One part feminist analysis....⁠
⁠
🔥One part tools, strategies + tips for navigating -- and changing -- our lives and world...⁠
⁠
🔥And 100% pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Use it to fuel your life, your career, your relationships and your impact.⁠
⁠
Are you in? You can learn more using the link in profile @kelly.diels . ⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
⁠ #feministclass #feministtraining #feministworkshop #feministcoaching⁠
I always feel a bit weird about these 'last-call' posts.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Please know this isn't 'fake scarcity' or fake pressure to get you to sign up (I wholeheartedly OPPOSE those tactics). ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Instead, this is a real deadline: ⁠⁠
the first live group call for We Are The Culture Makers is next Thursday, Feb 2...⁠⁠
⁠⁠
...so if you've been thinking you want to join, this is your loving reminder that this is the week to do that :)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
***⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Here's what you get in We Are The Culture Maker:⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥6 group calls⁠ per month -- drop in at either 9am PST or 4pm PST (or both!) on Thursdays⁠⁠ in Weeks 1-3 each month⁠
⁠⁠
🔥 Learn my self-coaching tool, the TRUEX framework, for getting out of shame and into your power -- on the spot, wherever you are⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥3 video lessons each month (and sometimes more) on how to create new realities for yourself (and all of us!) around fraught issues like Power, Time, Money, Body, Likability, Care, Work, Leadership and more⁠⁠
⁠
🔥Weekly Co-Working Sessions⁠ you can drop into so you have time set aside in your schedule to work on projects that truly matter to you⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Weekly, live Guided Meditation sessions to calm your central nervous system and bolster your spirit, taught by yoga breathing & meditation teacher Ntathu Allen⁠ (Find Ntathu at https://www.yogainspires.co.uk and @yogainspiresyou⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Online Mighty Networks group so you can get to know people in the group and make meaningful connections. This space is lovingly & fiercely facilitated by community-builder Trevia Woods⁠. (Find Trevia at https://www.manytreeslifeway.com and @trevia_woods⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
All in all, it's a year of radical encouragement meant to help you⁠⁠
(1) unlearn the social conditioning keeping us in self-doubt ⁠⁠
(2) learn the power-building habits that can help you rise -- personally, and collectively.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
In other words: this is about getting out of shame and into power.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
If that sounds like a fit for you, I invite you to sign up with the link in profile @kelly.diels -- and thank you!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
love + justice,⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Kelly⁠⁠
Good morning. Happy New Year. I am rooting for you. Your dreams and desires and ambitions matter and they are NOT impossible.⁠
⁠
(The oracle Dolly Parton told us so.)⁠
⁠
Re: ambition and likeability.⁠
⁠
For YEARS I have been counselling culture-making women to break up with likability. It's such a critical self-development and culture-making skill that I dedicated an entire, month-long, 4-lesson module in one of my programs to grappling with likability and what a seductive, compelling, hard-to-avoid, BULLSHIT trap it is for women. ⁠
⁠
The pursuit of likability will eat your life and your dreams.⁠
⁠
And it is fruitless, anyways. ⁠
⁠
If you are in a body marked 'other' and actually grow any kind of personal power; if you cultivate your ambition and succeed in bringing a body of work into existence; if you occupy any space of influence or authority; if you have any kind of personal sovereignty and the resources or ability to protect yourself...⁠
⁠
...then the research shows* that you will pay a 'likability penalty'. In other words, people suddenly start perceiving you as less likeable and act accordingly. ⁠
⁠
So. All that swallowing the words we wanted to say, smiling brightly, tamping down our ambitions, playing small, making hostile systems function, and ensuring others feel comfortable when they don't care about our comfort...it was never going to work. It was never going get us where we wanted to go, personally or collectively. WHOLE. FLOURISHING.⁠
⁠
How about we...stop?⁠
⁠
How about we divest of the likeability performance and cultivate our desires, dreams, ambitions, pleasure and rest this year (and always!) instead?⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#WeAreTheCultureMakers ⁠
#SelfHelpThroughAFeministLens⁠
⁠
* h/t @stefanieoconnell https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmt4ky1hijQ/
Several years ago I was interviewed by Morra Aarons-Mele (Women & Work) for her Hiding In The Bathroom podcast and she told me about a recruiting agency founded by women. ⁠
⁠
The founders interview people at lunch and at coffee, which means they spend a lot of their business money in restaurants. To leverage that spend for #economicjustice, they specifically resolved to eat and entertain at restaurants  owned by people with marginalized identities.⁠
⁠
A lightbulb went off in my head. ⁠
⁠
I own an online company so most of my expenses are software & apps, not restaurants. Still, I can do what that HR agency did. I can leverage my line items. I can select my software providers based on functionality AND culture-making criteria.⁠
⁠
If you’re an online business, there’s an opportunity here for you, too.⁠
⁠
Let’s say you need a social media scheduler. You’re comparing three or four options for their functionality. You can also look at their team & org chart to see if there are people of colour and women in executive leadership positions (and, and, and).⁠
⁠
You can make a list of things that matter to you and try to select providers that you WANT to invest in.⁠
⁠
Leveraging *what you’re already spending* is a simple step with big impact. It helps us invest in our communities AND it builds culture-making business practices into the day-to-day structure of your business.⁠
⁠
You can do this when you’re choosing new software AND you can review the existing providers in your business and see if they’re still the best fit (and iterate, iterate, iterate).⁠
⁠
We have a lot of power -- sometimes more than we even recognize -- and this is one of the ways we can use it to grow ourselves and our communities.⁠
⁠
Seeking to invest in what and WHO you want to grow is a way to leverage our own growth towards a social good.⁠
⁠
Let’s take each other with us as we rise.⁠
⁠
Because success can be collective. #LeverageYourLineItems⁠
⁠
PS I created a Selection Matrix you can use to compare and evaluate apps & software ⁠(link in bio @kelly.diels)⁠
⁠
PPS I map this out in greater detail in a blog post https://www.kellydiels.com/feminist-marketing-tool-220-apps-by-women-poc-founders/

psssst...Wednesday is the last day to enrol in *We Are The Culture Makers 2023*.⁠
⁠
🔥It's one part low-cost, online, group coaching...⁠
⁠
🔥One part encouragement circle where we get to know each other and find opportunities to ask for and receive support...⁠
⁠
🔥One part feminist analysis....⁠
⁠
🔥One part tools, strategies + tips for navigating -- and changing -- our lives and world...⁠
⁠
🔥And 100% pure jet fuel.⁠
⁠
Use it to fuel your life, your career, your relationships and your impact.⁠
⁠
Are you in? You can learn more using the link in profile @kelly.diels . ⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
⁠ #feministclass #feministtraining #feministworkshop #feministcoaching⁠
I always feel a bit weird about these 'last-call' posts.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Please know this isn't 'fake scarcity' or fake pressure to get you to sign up (I wholeheartedly OPPOSE those tactics). ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Instead, this is a real deadline: ⁠⁠
the first live group call for We Are The Culture Makers is next Thursday, Feb 2...⁠⁠
⁠⁠
...so if you've been thinking you want to join, this is your loving reminder that this is the week to do that :)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
***⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Here's what you get in We Are The Culture Maker:⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥6 group calls⁠ per month -- drop in at either 9am PST or 4pm PST (or both!) on Thursdays⁠⁠ in Weeks 1-3 each month⁠
⁠⁠
🔥 Learn my self-coaching tool, the TRUEX framework, for getting out of shame and into your power -- on the spot, wherever you are⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥3 video lessons each month (and sometimes more) on how to create new realities for yourself (and all of us!) around fraught issues like Power, Time, Money, Body, Likability, Care, Work, Leadership and more⁠⁠
⁠
🔥Weekly Co-Working Sessions⁠ you can drop into so you have time set aside in your schedule to work on projects that truly matter to you⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Weekly, live Guided Meditation sessions to calm your central nervous system and bolster your spirit, taught by yoga breathing & meditation teacher Ntathu Allen⁠ (Find Ntathu at https://www.yogainspires.co.uk and @yogainspiresyou⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
🔥Online Mighty Networks group so you can get to know people in the group and make meaningful connections. This space is lovingly & fiercely facilitated by community-builder Trevia Woods⁠. (Find Trevia at https://www.manytreeslifeway.com and @trevia_woods⁠)⁠⁠
⁠⁠
All in all, it's a year of radical encouragement meant to help you⁠⁠
(1) unlearn the social conditioning keeping us in self-doubt ⁠⁠
(2) learn the power-building habits that can help you rise -- personally, and collectively.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
In other words: this is about getting out of shame and into power.⁠⁠
⁠⁠
If that sounds like a fit for you, I invite you to sign up with the link in profile @kelly.diels -- and thank you!⁠⁠
⁠⁠
love + justice,⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Kelly⁠⁠
Good morning. Happy New Year. I am rooting for you. Your dreams and desires and ambitions matter and they are NOT impossible.⁠
⁠
(The oracle Dolly Parton told us so.)⁠
⁠
Re: ambition and likeability.⁠
⁠
For YEARS I have been counselling culture-making women to break up with likability. It's such a critical self-development and culture-making skill that I dedicated an entire, month-long, 4-lesson module in one of my programs to grappling with likability and what a seductive, compelling, hard-to-avoid, BULLSHIT trap it is for women. ⁠
⁠
The pursuit of likability will eat your life and your dreams.⁠
⁠
And it is fruitless, anyways. ⁠
⁠
If you are in a body marked 'other' and actually grow any kind of personal power; if you cultivate your ambition and succeed in bringing a body of work into existence; if you occupy any space of influence or authority; if you have any kind of personal sovereignty and the resources or ability to protect yourself...⁠
⁠
...then the research shows* that you will pay a 'likability penalty'. In other words, people suddenly start perceiving you as less likeable and act accordingly. ⁠
⁠
So. All that swallowing the words we wanted to say, smiling brightly, tamping down our ambitions, playing small, making hostile systems function, and ensuring others feel comfortable when they don't care about our comfort...it was never going to work. It was never going get us where we wanted to go, personally or collectively. WHOLE. FLOURISHING.⁠
⁠
How about we...stop?⁠
⁠
How about we divest of the likeability performance and cultivate our desires, dreams, ambitions, pleasure and rest this year (and always!) instead?⁠
⁠
love + justice,⁠
⁠
Kelly⁠
⁠
#WeAreTheCultureMakers ⁠
#SelfHelpThroughAFeministLens⁠
⁠
* h/t @stefanieoconnell https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmt4ky1hijQ/